Slag Wars: The Next Destroyer (Episode 1 review)

The Cock Destroyers’ most high-profile gig yet insists that slags should destroy cocks, not each other. 

No one should feign surprise that a reality competition titled Slag Wars: The Next Destroyer, fronted by The Cock Destroyers and produced by esteemed gay porn studio MEN.com, is cheap and cheerful trash. For the same reasons, no one should be surprised that its premiere episode was gloriously entertaining. 

A kind of RuPaul’s Slag Race, the show plonks seven queer, trans and non-binary sex workers – dubbed ‘Slags’ in the spirit of reclamation – in a countryside mansion, where they must compete in various challenges, or ‘Passion Projects’, to become the Next Destroyer. It’s not clear at this point what this title really means, or the prizes it entails, but there is a shiny pair of Golden Lips for everyone who does well enough to secure their place in the next episode. Each instalment will drop weekly, and will be available to stream for free at slagwars.com

The Slags are a delightful bunch for the most part, and the premiere dangles some morsels of conflict, such as when Californian trans showgirl Nicky baldly asks small-town Scottish boy Kevin why he’s qualified to be on a show about sex workers despite not being a sex worker himself: ‘Are you just a superfan of the girls? Couldn’t afford a meet-and-greet with them?’

But in all honesty, Slag Wars only truly comes alive when its hosts are onscreen. 

For the uninitiated, The Cock Destroyers are British adult entertainers and social media sensations Rebecca More and Sophie Anderson. The pair had been separately cultivating their own careers for years, but in 2018, a hastily-filmed Twitter callout for ‘about six fucking cocks’ to join her and Sophie for a collaborative morning gangbang (that evening’s gangbang sold out) made them instant gay icons. Watch it

In less than a minute, the viral clip summarises the duo’s winning dynamic, with Rebecca’s posh sex kitten purr bouncing effortlessly off Sophie’s brash enthusiasm. The pair initially became friends when Rebecca invited Sophie to a gangbang and was pleasantly shocked to meet someone who could rival her dirty talk skills – and it has been nothing short of remarkable to watch them parlay their bawdy banter and cosmic chemistry into club night PAs, Netflix promo spots, a sex-less acting gig in MEN.com’s gay porn flick A Tale of Two Cock Destroyers, and now their own reality show. 

Slag Wars’ smartest move is digging a little deeper into their relationship. From what I gather after obsessively studying their interviews and interactions, Rebecca is the cutthroat mother-businesswoman figure (she co-owns kinky fashion line Daddy Couture with porn star Matthew Camp, who appears here as a kind of one-man Pit Crew), while Sophie is her more sensitive and slightly naive counterpart. The show has fun playing with this tension at a critical juncture: eliminations!

After assessing the viral videos our Slags were tasked with producing for their first Passion Project, Sophie suddenly forgets every production meeting leading up to this moment and begins to struggle with the prospect of sending someone home. Rebecca tries to remain calm and pragmatic (‘We’re not sending them to the guillotine’) but things get personal fast. 

Before scampering off the bed on which this particular slag war is being waged, Sophie insists that, as someone who is so close to her, Rebecca should have known Sophie ‘couldn’t properly do this’. The drama is fabulously contrived, and by tapping into a harmless difference in personalities and exploiting it with camp aplomb, the scene brings unexpected depth to the Cock Destroyers brand.   

Nothing can prepare you for the elimination scene itself, however. A satisfying joint-win aside, there was no resolution on this occasion – only a conflicted and overwhelmed Sophie dragging herself across a pebbled driveway, hopefully avoiding the shattered remains of the Golden Lips she threw to the ground just moments before.

Perhaps Sophie will get her way and Slag Wars will eschew eliminations in favour of a more constructive tone. There would be merit to such a format. If there’s one thing Rebecca and Sophie’s friendship proves, it’s that slags should destroy cocks – not each other.

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