Billie Eilish’s ‘Everything I Wanted’ is gauzy and chilling

Image: Frazer Harrison / Getty for Coachella

2019 belonged to Billie Eilish. If you don’t agree, then you haven’t been paying attention. 

Debut album When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? expertly elevated the singer’s dark whisper-pop to mainstream palatability without compromising an ounce of its distinctive, trap-adjacent gloom. At just 17 years of age, Billie has racked up over 15 million streams worldwide, played acclaimed sets at Coachella and Glastonbury, scored a US #1 with ‘Bad Guy’, and embedded herself in the public consciousness as a Gen Z icon – thanks in part to a relaxed, highly attainable fashion sense.

The title of her new single ‘Everything I Wanted’ likely refers to this rapid rise to fame, and lo and behold, it has come at a cost to her mental health. Over the gentlest of beats – a notable departure from When We…’s bass-heavy menace – Billie acknowledges the pressures and vitriol she faces as a young woman in the public eye. She recounts suicidal dreams, and lambastes the dehumanising language used to discuss her on social media: ‘They called me weak, like I’m not somebody’s daughter’.

At its heart, ‘Everything I Wanted’ is a love song dedicated to the person you wake up next to after a bad dream. But a pessimistic message lingers long after it’s over: when Billie falls asleep, she goes somewhere very dark indeed. 


Listen to ‘Everything I Wanted’ below:

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